


The adventure of Stridragon and Vantas the Great

by whovianhiddlestoner



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Can Town, Cute, Fluff, Karkat has a potty mouth, M/M, Meteorstuck, boys playing and being stupid, roleplaying, slight mention of the other meteor crew, so does dave, the Mayor is the cutest thing ever, veryveryvery mild angst it doesn't even count
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 19:36:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7281922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whovianhiddlestoner/pseuds/whovianhiddlestoner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave has a fantastic idea and roleplaying in Can Town with Karkat and the Mayor ensues. Bonus Terezi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The adventure of Stridragon and Vantas the Great

**Author's Note:**

> This was beta-d by auraphantom. Thank you so much for letting me waste your time with this. Consider this as early Christmas you fucker *shoots finger guns*

It was somewhere around the second year that the small party of trolls and humans were on the speeding meteor but for a more precise number you should ask Dave Strider about it, as a time player he should be able to keep track of it. Not like he would care, to be honest.

As the group's official representative ambassador of awesome Dave usually always had something to do, and if not he made sure he wouldn't be bored out of his wits. It was such a moment when he opened a private chat on his iShades to his best dude bro friend, Karkat, an idea already in mind and an important accessory rumpled in one hand.

Yes, he and Karkat became real close friends on this space-rock, so close it ascended the tiers of friendship itself... possibly being something like moirails? Nah, fuck that, the quadrant mambo jumbo never really was Dave's cup of tea, or more like box of AJ, it always left him slightly confused. Besides, Dave didn't really think his feelings towards the shouty troll was of pale but something different that he just couldn't place in his head.

Let's put troll romance aside and pester Karkat already.

turtechGodhead [TG] started pestering carsinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: yo karkat  
TG: karkat  
TG: hey  
TG: karkat  
TG: karkar  
TG: kitkat  
TG: kittykat  
TG: hello kitty  
CG: HOLY FUCKING SHIT STRIDER, I’M FUCKING HERE.  
CG: WILL YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ALREADY OR ARE YOU GOING TO CALL ME MORE SHITASS STUPIDLY RIDICULOUS NICKNAMES, PERHAPS EVEN DO A SHITTY SLAM-POETRY WITH MY NAME FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR BELOVED IRONY.  
TG: nah im good  
TG: tho that idea of rapping your name is pretty sweet we should record that sometime  
CG: NO WE SHOULDN’T.  
CG: JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, FUCKASS, BEFORE I SCRATCH OUT MY VISION SPHERES AT ANY MORE OF YOUR STUPIDITY.  
TG: you  
TG: me  
TG: can town  
TG: now  
TG: and the mayor should be there too he will fucking love this shit maybe even do a cute little dance on his small legs, yea you know which dance the one where he juggles two cans of soda in his little hands and runs around you, it’s that awesome an idea  
TG: you guys will probably praise me for weeks  
TG: your eyes will well up with overjoyed salty tears like fucking seawater salty that stings the life out of your troll lookstubs only to make you cry even more  
TG: and you will say ‘dave, how on this meteor did you come up with such a brilliant idea’  
CG: JEGUS FUCKING GRUBS!  
CG: FINE I’M GOING JUST STOP WITH YOUR STUPID ANALOGIES MY THINKPAN CAN’T HANDLE THE NUMBING FEELING OF DOUCHENESS I MIGHT JUST START A TANTRUM.  
TG: that would make my second karkat tantrum bingo  
CG: FUCK YOU.  
TG: kay then I see you at can town

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carsinoGeneticist [CG]

Karkat stomped through the dark halls of the meteor, grumbling to himself about Dave's stupid cockiness but his tone lacked actual anger behind his mumbled words. Just another transportaliser, one last corridor missing lighting and a final air locked door and ta-fucking-da he was in Can Town.

Dave and the Mayor were already there setting up some cans as a smaller wall, playing like 5 year old kindergarteners, clearly enjoying themselves. Karkat aggressively smothered a fond smile before it could form on his face, the sight of his two friends like that was just too damn cute. Alright, maybe he'll allow himself just a small, microscopic shadow of a smile.

Dave sensing the shorter troll's presence turned his head towards him and gave him a usual Strider-smile that's pretty much a smirk which is just a little bit snarky and probably laced with a thick layer of, you guessed it, irony.

"Look who finally showed up, Mayor! It's our K-man!" Dave said and the Mayor now noticing Karkat, greeted him with an enthusiastic happy wave. Goddammit, why does the Mayor always have to be adorable?

"DAVE, WOULD YOU FUCKING STOP CALLING ME STUPID NAMES?!! IT’S FUCKING ANNOYING AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED WHEN ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL KICK YOUR CAPED ASS OFF THIS SHITSTAIN OF A ROCK AND INTO THE INFINITE ABYSS OF SHUT THE FUCK UP! HI MAYOR!" Karkat managed to shout all of this while gently waving back to the carapacian.

  
Dave strode to the troll, making sure his cape fluttered behind him. Why have capes when you can’t show off its coolness?

"I can't make any promises but for you, Kar, I will try my best not to get myself kicked off our ride." Dave answered, finger guns accompanying his statement.

Karkat felt like this might've been flirt territory. However, he did not want to flatter himself with something that could be nothing, so to be on the safe side he flipped the middle finger into the humans face.

"SO WHAT IS THIS OH SO MIGHTY AND GENIUS IDEA OF YOURS?" The troll inquired.

"I thought you'd never ask." Dave smiled and took something out of his sylladex. "Boom!"

In his hands was a blood red cape with a hood shaped like a dragon, scales and button eyes sewed on it. It was clearly well used but handled with care and it was also probably handmade.

"ISN'T THAT TEREZI'S ROLEPLAYING COSTUME?" Karkat pointed at the attire.

"Hell yes it is." Dave swished the costume in his hands from side to side. "We are going to save the Mayor and Can Town from the dragon!" Then he proceeded to get a microphone from his sylladex and dropped it to the floor, landing with a thud. "Genius or what?"

Karkat stared at the teen bewildered.

"OK, ONE: I'M NOT EVEN GONNA QUESTION THAT" He pointed a grey finger at the mic "TWO: TEREZI'S GOING TO FUCKING MURDER US, AND THREE: I AM NOT WEARING THAT ABSURD LOOKING SHIT."

Dave flashed an all knowing smirk. "Don't worry, she won’t be a problem. And you won't be wearing it, I will."

"WHAT?" Karkat blinked.

"As a knight player and one of Can Town's respective knight you are more than capable to go against the fearsome Davealicious Stridragon." Dave said and to add some emphasis Mayor nodded, as if deeming Karkat worthy of placing Can Town into his protection.

Karkat snorted at the stupid name Dave gave himself; all the while he felt nice warmth spread in his chest at the fact that both his friends let him play the part of the hero. He knew his crabby demeanor and his troll appearance would be more befitting of a villain, yet deep, deep, way deep down he always wanted what was best for everyone.

He let himself fully smile this time.

"OK" The short troll accepted.

"Cool" said Dave and placed a hand on his alien friend's shoulder. "Now you will need a weapon."

The teen took out the third item from his sylladex and offered none other object than the sord. The fucking sord.

It was more than apparent that Karkat's thinkpan arrived to a halt. "THAT IS THE SHITTIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. IT'S SO FUCKING SHITTY EVEN YOUR SHIT TOOK A DUMP TO GET RID OF THIS SHIT!"

"That's what's great about it. I am so glad you understand me so well." Dave gently shoved the joke of a sword into the troll's hand.

Karkat looked at it with a good amount of disgust, measuring it up and down; occasionally glancing at Dave then blew out a long, defeated sigh. "FINE! I'LL USE THIS PIECE OF CRAP. AT LEAST I WON'T FUCKING STAB YOU BY ACCIDENT."

Dave found it endearing how his alien friend took his safety into consideration. Though as a god tier he wouldn’t die, he wasn't keen seeing his own blood pouring out painting the ground red.

"OK LET'S FUCKING START THIS!" Karkat turned to take a position within the pretend town, but Dave grabbed the troll's free hand and yanked him back.

"AAARGH, WHAT THE FUCK, DAVE?!"

"Not so fast, dude." The god tier said, somehow forgetting to let go of Karkat's hand. "You're missing something. Mayor, can-roll, please!"

Karkat shot him a questioning look while the carapacian grabbed the nearest can and drummed on the top of the cylinder with his tiny hands.

Dave took off his god tier cape with long, stretched out movements and then offered it to Karkat like some royal crown jewel to give momentum to his actions. Karkat's breath hitched and could only watch his friend with amazement.

"It's dangerous to go alone, take this." Dave offered a shy smile.

"...BUT DAVE... THAT'S YOUR CAPE..."

The human shrugged. "Every knight needs a cape, right?"

Karkat couldn't fight his flush tinting his grey face red as he carefully took the clothing. He pulled it over his head, making sure his nub horns wouldn't ruin it, then letting it drop and hug around his smaller frame, the deep red cape slightly dragged on the floor.

Dave's heart skipped a beat as the troll checked himself out, swishing the cape every which way and then draping the soft, plush pyjama accessory around himself like a blanket. Fuck, his alien looked cute.

Karkat felt very comfy and now he understood why Dave was so attached to it. But he had to ask...

"WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE APPLES?"

"Dude, did you just sniff my cape?" Dave questioned back a bit flustered.

"WHAT? NO!!!" The embarrassment clearly showed on Karkat's face. "IT'S JUST HARD TO IGNORE ITS FUCKING STRONG SCENT, YOU FUCKHEAD! IT SNUCK INTO MY SNORT BARRELS AND SUPPLEXED MY SNIFFNODE WITH THE STRENGTH OF TEN SEED FLAPPING MUSCLEBEASTS, JUST TRY TO IMAGINE HOW DELIGHTFUL THAT IS!"

The two looked at each other like a couple of awkward idiots. Dave tried to shrug it off with a mumbled "AJ is the shit". It didn't really explain what AJ had to do with his cape smelling like apples but whatever.

Mayor looked between the two, blinking innocently and started to tug simultaneously on Dave's pant leg and the cloak on Karkat.

"LET'S PLAY ALREADY!" The troll fidgeted awkwardly.

"Yeah..." Dave agreed and draped Terezi's dragon costume around his shoulders and pulled the hood on his head.

"Rawr, rawr, motherfuckers!"

~ * ~

Everybody took their positions. Both the Mayor and Karkat stood at the centre of Can Town while Dave took off the ground, floating in the air, taking his dragon role very seriously. Nobody said god tier flying wasn't useful.

"*The terrible Davealicious Stridragon flies amongst the white cotton candy looking clouds, thinking it would be dope if he could eat them right from the sky, when he notices with his dragon eyes behind his fucking cool dragon-shades a small-ass town.*" Dave began the roleplaying as he flew in slow, dignified circles above Can Town, Terezi's dragon cape floating nicely behind him.

"*The Stridragon thinks he was already hungry, wondering about eating clouds and all, so sure, why not attack the town and devour its canned goods.*"

Karkat shields his eyes from an imaginary sun and follows Dave's movement in the air. "*A BRAVE WARRIOR SPOTS NONE OTHER THAN A FUCKING DRAGON OF ALL THINGS RAPIDLY APPROACHING. SO HE RUNS TO WARN THE TOWNS MAYOR OF THE UPCOMING DANGER.*"

The troll makes two steps, the oversized cape on his shoulders trails on the floor behind him, and he's right beside the small carapacian.

"*THE WARRIOR KNEELS IN FRONT OF THE TOWN'S LEADER AND SAIS...*" Karkat hastily follows his own instructions, one knee on the ground and the sord held out in front of him with the tip facing the floor. "... I, THE GREAT VANTAS, KNIGHT AND PROTECTOR OF CAN TOWN WILL SAVE YOU, MY MAYOR, AND YOUR TOWN FROM THE STUPID DOUCHEBAG DRAGON!"

The Mayor stands before Karkat with the pride of a king and he places a hand on the troll's messy black hair, right between the small horns, accepting his knight's protection. Karkat stands and faces Dave.

"*VANTAS, THE GREAT DRAWS HIS SHITTY SORD AND AWAITS THE DRAGON'S ATTACK*" Karkat takes up a fighting stance, his weapon drew up imposingly, and he trips and almost falls as his foot gets tangled in Dave's cape.

Dave chuckles at the sight and can't help but think how adorable the shouty troll is as he struggles with the red cloak. Karkat gives him a dirty glare and screams, breaking character. "SHUT UP, NOOKSNIFFER!"

Done with his laughing the boy twirls in the air and makes a dive towards one of the can buildings. "*The Stridragon fails to notice the knight and so he targets the Bubbles Von Salamancer Memorial Library.*"

Dave shoots towards said building, Terezi's costume ripping behind him like furiously flapping wings. Upon impact the library is destroyed and cans are scattered every direction.

"~Rawr!" Dave purrs mockingly as he's back in the air, his lips stretching into a satisfied smirk.

"*VANTAS, THE GREAT WITNESSES THE DRAGON'S HORRIBLE DESTRUCTION AND ADVISES HIS MAYOR TO TAKE COVER.*(DON’T WORRY, DAVE WILL REBUILD THE LIBRARY.)"

“(Hey, no fair!)”

After the Mayor doing a short panic dance, he scrambled behind the wall he and Dave built just before Karkat have arrived. Man, the Mayor is grade-A+ at acting, someone should give him an Oscar.

~*~*~

As an intermission from all this exciting roleplay, in a not so far away hallway of this meteor Terezi was investigating a crime. The crime in question was a stolen object that was taken from her person. Her tasty red dragon RP costume. A troll takes a short nap on a scalemate pile and suddenly her possessions disappear. Justice will be served!

She already caught a whiff of her cloack’s cherry sent and was determinedly following its path. As she walked the teal blood mulled over some possible suspects. Kanaya and her matesprit, Lalonde, couldn’t care less about other’s things since they are sooo tangled up with each other. Karkat knows better than to mess with her stuff, he’s too much of a wriggler to even consider such an act of crime. Conclusion: those three couldn’t have done it.

Vriska might be a potential suspect but Terezi has gone down that route before, so for now she will give her Scourge Sister the benefit of the doubt. Then there is Gamzee, all tied up and nicely taken care of.

…

It was so obviously Gamzee, she just had to figure out how he got out of that hunger trunk. That sneaky juggalo with his rainbow coloured Faygos.

There is also the possibility of cool kid Strider. Hmmmmm, this is an interesting case indeed.

Wait! Are you saying our legislacerator forgot to consider the cute little Mayor as a suspect of this heinous crime? HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK OF SUCH OUTRAGEOUS ACCUSATIONS??!!!

Terezi followed the clues to a familiar smelling place and as the door opened in front of her; she recognized the tang of metal cylinders stacked into a moderate sized charming town. The blind troll halted in her step. What a turn of events, finding her RP costume in Can Town of all places. Maybe the Mayor isn’t as innocent as he seems?

Terezi sniffed into the air to take a better look at things. OH, WOW! The sweet mix of cherry and candy-red with some delicious apples wafted into her nose. Karkat was engulfed by an oversized Strider scented luscious redness, and in his claws a funky smelling sword. How charming.

Dave was always covered in delectable red but that well-known scrumptious odour of cherry hovering behind him was unmistakably her dragon cape, as he roared like a beast. Cool Kid found guilty.

 “H3H3H3…” The troll girl snickered low enough so the others couldn’t hear. They haven’t even noticed her as they were so immersed in their game. Just the smell and sound of them prancing around cans with silly costumes was endearing, Terezi started to contemplate whether to let this incident slide.

But no! Justice must be served! What would be the perfect penalty?

It was so obvious how Dave and Karkat would form such a nice couple. If none of this makes them get together, that would be punishment enough. However, if things did get on with each other they better name their first-born wriggler after her or so help them!

All this tasty red wafting around was very intoxicating for Terezi, it was oh-so-hard to keep herself from pouncing the boys and just lick those divine cloths. She turned back out the door to leave the other three to their game, sniggers leaving her grinning lips.

“1 4M S0 T3LL1NG TH1S T0 VR1SK4!”

~*~*~

Back at the roleplaying Karkat stood before the library’s remains.

"*THE KNIGHT'S HEART FILLS WITH RIGHTEOUSNESS AND SWEARS TO BRING JUSTICE AS HE CHALLENGES THE DRAGON. TO GET ITS ATTENTION HE SHOUTS AT HIM* 'OVER HERE, YOU FUCKING DUMB BEAST!'"

Karkat dug deep for all of his acting talents and ferociously sneered at Dave. The blond got maybe too comfortable into the laid back monster act, because he floated on his back as if resting on some invisible bed and tilted his head backwards to see the troll upside down.

"*Davealicious hears the daring words and lays his dragon eyes upon the handsome troll knight.*" The boy said. Dave's face quickly changes from smug to desperate as he realizes what he actually said.

"No, fuck! I mean sexy knight... uh, shit, hot troll. NO! FUCKING FUCK! Ummm.....pretty?" With each word the blond human got closer to the ground as if his humiliation was physically dragging him down. He felt too warm for comfort and his chest held an aching pain. If he was 5 he might be even crying, it was so bad.

"C-can we just rewind and f-forget I've ever word-barfed those things?"

What Dave didn't see was how Karkat was affected by all this. He felt electric fuzziness in his entire body, from horn to foot. He also felt kinda happy. If someone would decide to pet his dark hair at this state, he would be delightfully purring like a cat. Good thing the two people in the room didn't know about that, because that would be really embarrassing.

But he also felt bad for the emotionally struggling boy in front of him and he had to help him out.

"*UHH, THE FEARSOME DRAGON FOUND THE KNIGHT ODDLY ATTRACTIVE BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP HIM FROM TOTALLY WANTING TO KILL THE OPOSER BECAUSE WHAT ELSE WOULD A HUGE FUCKING FURNACE WITH STUPID WINGS DO.* NOW FUCKING FIGHT ME DAVE!"

The teen with the shades was grateful for Karkat bringing him back in the game. Everyone can say anything about his alien friend but they can't say he isn't a good person. Dave twirled once in the air, getting back into character and with a roar he launched himself at the troll. Thus the 'fight' has begun.

Most of the battle was about Karkat swinging his 'weapon' at the god tier and Dave ducked from the blows, spicing it up with taunts and insults from both sides such as 'bulgelicker' and 'asshole' and once even a 'FUCKHEAD, I WILL END YOUR NOOKSTAINING LIFE, YOU STUPID LOAD GAPER IF YOU WON'T STOP WRAPPING MY CAPE AROUND MY HEAD, FUCKING NIBBLE VERMIN' followed by an uncontrollable giggle fit and an 'lmao cape-magnet Vantas returns'.

Mayor spectated this behind his canned cover, cheering them on or acting shocked as the 'fight' went on.

All was well until Dave decided to start beat boxing.

"NO! STOP!!!" Karkat whined, but the blond refused to stop.

"FUCKING STOP! DRAGONS DON'T BEATBOX, SHITHEAD!"

More beatboxing.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!"

More beatboxing.

"IF YOU START RHYMING I WILL KILL YOU!!" If it was possible Karkat's voice rapidly raised in height and volume.

Dave took a large intake of air about to rap when he was met with a sord to the face. He immediately ceased doing everything; even flying as every soul watched his sunglasses land on the floor and slide a few meters along the surface.

"fuck..." Karkat gasped, panic taking over his features, his voice turning uncharacteristically tiny. The Mayor slapped both his hands on his face in shock.

"FUCK, FUCK, FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!" The troll dropped that stupid sord and dashed desperately towards the shades.

He fell to his knees, grey fingers shakily reaching out for the object, almost afraid to touch it.

"OH FUCK, PLEASE BE OK, PLEASE DON'T BE BROKEN, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY..."

Karkat gently looked the glasses over and sighed with relief like half of his worldly worries had been relieved from his shoulders. However, he wasn't feeling any better about himself. He hastily made his way back to Dave and offered the unharmed shades back to him.

The troll looked so small at the moment and was a slightly trembling wreck. It didn't help that Dave just stood there without a word and crimson eyes fixated on the ground. He was more likely self-conscious of the flaming nature of his irises.

Karkat skimmed his eyes over the place where he accidentally hit Dave in the face. His gut twisted hard in anguish and hated himself even more than usual. Dave's cheek wasn't too bad, the hit left behind a red mark and it will bruise a little.

"I FUCKING HURT YOU, SHIT, I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU, I'M SORRY. YOU HATE ME LIKE EVERYONE DOES EVENTUALLY. I’M THE FUCKING WORST..." If someone were to paint a portrait of guilt itself, it would be Karkat Vantas.

Dave's red eyes snapped up at the troll. "Karkat, no, I don't hate you, man!"

The alien remained in his miserable state.

"BUT I'VE SLAPPED YOU WITH THE CRAPPIEST SWORD IN PARADOX SPACE..."

"Shoosh, accidents happen and besides I've had worse." Dave said with the kindest voice he could do. A hand reached for his shades in the other's palm but instead of taking it he let his fingers brush and wrap around the troll's in a reassuring manner.

"B-BUT I'VE ALMOST BROKE YOUR SUNGLASSES." Karkat argued and tilted up his head to meet with the human's gaze. Sweet wriggler Jegus in an ablution trap, those candy-red eyes were staring at him with such a mix of kindness and not taking shit for excuses it made him feel all warm again.

"You could've but you didn't. And if you did have then yeah, I might get pissed or upset over that shit but I wouldn't hate you, Kar. That's fucking bullshit and you know it, asshole." Oh yes, and here he comes with his stupid affectional nicknames.

Dave draped his arms around Karkat and the black haired boy eagerly accepted this newfound shelter as he placed his head in the crook of the other's neck, carefully watching not to harm his human with his small horns.

"I'M SO FUCKING SORRY."

"It's ok, shoosh."

Dave paps his troll's back and an image of giving a quick peck on his cheek ran through his mind. After shortly thinking it over he decided to go for it.

The action was brief and innocent and conciliatory but it stirred something in both of them. It made Karkat move instinctively and before Dave's face went away he crashed their lips together in a kiss that lived as short as the other.

Karkat embarrassed, looked away defeated. "FUCK, THIS IS WHEN YOU'RE GONNA SAY YOU'RE NOT A 'HOMOSEXUAL' LIKE EGBERT, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS."

Dave snorted and he was also blushing a bit. "Hell no! Fuck Egbert, I don't care about shit like that."

The god tier quickly hid his eyes back behind the shades as he said the next thing. "I actually liked it."

At that Karkat felt strangely giddy and couldn’t help but crack a soft smile at Dave which the boy returned.

Then the Mayor plummeted into them and hugged their waists tightly, overjoyed by all of these turn of events.

"No, Mayor, you're killing me! How can you be so precious?" Dave whined and Karkat had to agree. The Mayor will always be precious, but so will his Dave.

**Author's Note:**

> *And so after Sburb/Sgrub Dave's and Karkat's ecto-baby-wriggler was nicknamed TZ after godmother Terezi.*
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed, kudos and comments are always appreciated and I will love you guys forever.


End file.
